Fireball and AUSTIN POWERS are best friends... and when he asked the "King of Shag" for the TOP 10 APHRODISIACS... And here's what Austin said...
"Oh, behave! It's time to talk about my top ten aphrodisiacs, baby! Just like my trusty engine revving Cadillac Eldo Shagmobile, these aphrodisiacs are guaranteed to make you randy!
- Shagadelic Music Collection: Nothing gets the mojo flowing like the right tunes for your baby..., baby. Picture this: Barry White on vinyl, setting the mood for a night of groovy seduction. Yeah baby, YEAH!!
- Velvet Love Potion: Sipped from a crystal goblet, this elixir makes your heart race faster than my Union Jack-painted Jaguar E-Type and a Polska Keilbasa! It's not just smooth; it's shagalicious! (Might hurt a bit in the tum, tum as I mixed in some chocolate laxatives. Shhh...)
- Carnaby Street Fashion: Drape yourself in threads that scream '60s chic! Think paisley patterns, Nehru jackets, and Chelsea boots. You'll look smashing and they'll be groveling at your feet!
- Mysterious Cologne: A spritz of this scent is like the exhaust fumes from my Aston Martin DB5 with a wild chaser! It leaves a trail of intrigue and desire wherever you go, plus SNAUSAGE UP or my name isn't AUSTIN POWERS!
- Chocolate from Belgium: Not just any chocolate, darling, but the finest from Belgium. It's as decadent as cruising in my Lotus Esprit S1, guaranteed to melt hearts and LICK MINDS!
- Sensual Massage Oil: Imagine a massage with oil as slick as my Rolls-Royce Silver Cloud. "Pardon me, do you happen to have any SHAG ME NOW!!?" It relaxes and tantalizes, ensuring you're both in the mood for a serious Bed a' THON!
- Aphrodite's Pearl Necklace: No, not the mythical artifact, but a stunning piece of jewelry that sparkles brighter than the headlights on my Aston Martin DBS. It's a classic touch of elegance and will get you... DOWN AND SHAGGY!
- Silk Sheets: Slipping between these sheets is like sinking into the plush seats of my Bentley Continental GT. It's luxurious, comfortable, and perfect for a night of passion. Or even a Pop 'a licious Quickie, baby...
- Champagne: Pop open a bottle of bubbly that's as delightful as cruising with a top down in my Volkswagen Beetle. It's fizzy, fun, and the ultimate celebratory drink. Ooo, POP away.
- Pheromone Perfume: This potion is more potent than the nitrous oxide boost in my customized Ford Mustang Mach 1. It attracts like long, hard magnet, ensuring you're irresistible. (WARNING: This item can cause serious heart tremors and loss of VIAGRA)
So, there you have it, folks! My top ten aphrodisiacs are as essential to a swinging time as my funky dance moves. Remember, with these in your arsenal, you'll be seducing like a true SHAG MASTER!! And snag one of Fireball's new Austin Tees for that Funkadelic Vibe!
